I wonder...

I often find myself lost in thought wondering if you miss me nearly as much as I miss you. I wonder if you understand how deeply you hurt me, and I wonder did I hurt you that much too? I wonder if you think of me as often as I hope you do. Are you angry with me for things I don't even know about, the way I am angry with you? I wonder if you are happier in your life without me in it. Are you fulfilled? Did I ever fulfill you? Do you still love me? Do you even care? I often wonder about all of these things and I know that I will never have the answers. I do hope only for the best for you, but I can't help but wonder...

'Tis the season...

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches it got me thinking about how we each have our own set of memories and ideas of what this holiday should be about. I personally don't care about the gifts or all of the material things that come with the holiday. Now don't get me wrong I certainly enjoy a nice gift from my boyfriend or a thoughtful one from a friend, but that isn't what is important to me. I lost my father in 2007 and Christmas hasn't been the same the past two years without him, just having him around to spend time with and share jokes with, or even just to give a big hug and wish a Merry Christmas to. I can't help but think that we all get so caught up in the stress of buying gifts and making sure it is the right or "perfect" thing for whomever we are buying for, that we forget that when its all said and done, in the end we hold on to the memory of the time we spend together rather than the gifts we exchanged.

I have heard stories over the past few weeks from different people that had their own encounters with people at the stores and malls, mostly frustrations and annoyances, they have dealt rude or brash people and it dampens their spirit. I even have my own adventures of the "holiday shopping" rush that I could share and vent about but I have to remind myself again what it is all about. That leads me to the phone call I got this morning from a friend who had to share her good news!! She has been having a great day and the things making her day great included watching her son in a school play, getting an unexpected day off of work and a very unexpected gift from a co-worker and friend. Her friend handed her a small envelope and said open it when you get to the car...When she got in the car she opened it to find $100.00 and a note that basically said I hope this helps you out a little bit and I love you. How cool is that?!? Well darn who isn't gonna be happy getting some money they didn't know was coming their way! :) But what made it so special to her wasn't the money it was the note and the fact that her friend didn't have to do that, but out of the goodness of her heart and for no reason gave that to her.

The people that come in and out of our lives have their own individual impact on us, we remember certain people for the way they wore their hair, the places they lived and visited or the cars they drove. But others we remember for the way they touched our hearts, made our lives easier in those moments that were difficult, or made our experiences and memories richer with their shared laughter. I am so lucky and blessed to have encountered so many wonderful people in my life so far, and I am sure I will come across many more in my years to come. I try to remember in my daily actions how I might be remembered by the people I am around, even the lady at the checkout counter could be having a bad day and maybe my smile will help her. I know there are days I could just use a smile, just see one stranger doing something nice and that will remind me that good people do still exist in this world.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday with the ones they love and are important to them, let us all remember what really matters when it is all said and done. :)

If your gonna offer...

This is to all you guys out there who have women that cook, clean, do laundry & Any other household chore that needs to be done....If your gonna offer to do the dishes while Im already doing them, your gonna have to do them now! You can't wait until you feel like it, see I have already started, which means that you either come take over right then and there or don't offer at all.....
Unless you are just offering so that you can say that you did, but without any real intention of doing it anyway because you know I have already started and the above rule applies, in which case Im sorry but I don't give ya much credit there...
Im just sayin...

And here we go...

Ok so I started this blog, now lets see how much I actually use it...
Im going to try to express my thoughts more often and vent all of these things that go on up in my crazy little head...lol
So here is the official first blog post...Exciting wasn't it!